Tuesday, April 22, 2008

eating shit!

eating shit!
that's how i feel right now!
eating shit!
i really can't tell how
fuck the way that life pushes me!
fuck all those who screwed me!
damn it! i really don't deserve this!
i'm on the edge and i just can't bear this!
fucking shit, everywhere i see!
fucking shit, everyday i'll be!
i don't think this is how life was meant to be
fuck life!
fuck everybody!
i'm on the edge and i just can't bear this!

eating shit!
that's how i feel right now!

January 6, 2005
1:45 pm
San Fernando, Pampanga


I don't usually write like this. But at the moment of writing,
this was how I exactly I was feeling.

Notice of disconnection

This morning, at exactly 8am, a man knocked at our door. It was from the electric company and he gave us a slip which says 'Notice Of Disconnection'. Our electric bill for two months amounting to P2,500 is overdue, and I have until 10AM to pay for it. Otherwise, our electricity will be cut-off, until such time I would be able to pay them.

This isn't exactly new to me. Actually this the nth disconnection notice that I received. I received 2 or 3 notices in my old house before, another in the next apartment that I rented, 3 or 4 in my already-closed Internet shop, and I think it's the 3rd in my present apartment I'm living in. There were times that I was able to find some money to pay for them, although there were also instances wherein I was not able to do anything and just watched the linemen as they disconnected the electric meter from our house. Leaving us... a sick wife and three little kids, without electricity. During days, it was fine. But as night time comes, of course it would also be dark inside the house, being without a light. Until I finally would be able to find some money to have my electric reconnected.

Now, if that ain't shit, I don't know it is! Yes! Shit happens! Especially in my life! In fact, shit has become a way of life for me I think. It seems to be in my system. Something or someone always screws me! Damn!

Today, I was able to borrow money from my mother to pay for the bill. Fortunately, she was able to find money that's why I'm here now typing shits on my blog. Otherwise, I would be writing instead in my notebook, because I would have no power. Today, I was fortunate. But the next time I would received a disconnection notice? I really don't know.

Damn shit!

April 23, 2008