My children don't deserve another sick parent!

I hope it's just paranoia that I'm feeling. But last night, I woke up with so much pain... it hurts so much that I was in fact crying in pain. And I felt so cold... thought I was chilling. All my kids were sound asleep, they never knew what was happening to me.

Today, I was in pain the whole day. The lower back at the right side is where it hurts the most. I remember my wife telling me that if it hurts on that part, it indicate something is wrong with the kidney... she should know. It was the cause of her death.

As I was working... through the day, it wasn't once I almost fainted. If only I weren't conscious enough to stop working for a while and rest, I know I could have dropped within a few minutes.

I was worried. Not for me, not for the pain that I feel, but for my kids. They don't deserve another sick parent who will deprive them of what they should be having.

I don't know. Who cares?

All those affiliates, yet no opportunities....

I was very much happy and excited that some of my blogs got approved on some blog affiliates that pay bloggers for writing. I was thinking of all the possibilities... the earnings... the diverse subject I can write... I am really excited. Because more than the earning, I will be writing.

But after a few months, except for one unpaid and disapproved post, there aren't really any opportunities that has been handed to me by these blog affiliates. One things I noticed though is that, the spam emails I received increased significantly. I wonder if the it has to with all those information sheets I filled up.

Really makes me wonder because some bloggers get lots of writing opportunities. I get none. Maybe it has to do with PR or Page Rank. I don't have any. I don't know. Like those with high PR can really write better.

Well I'm working on mine, although I'm not sure how. Maybe someday I'll have my time. Get a high PR and those affiliates will be practically kneeling down my feet.

Yeah I know... wishful thinking.

Generous to the dead...

I am very thankful that there were many people who helped us at the time of my wife's death. If not for them, I might not be able to give her a decent burial. Fortunately, people who came at the wake are more than willing to share. I was able to receive much then, enough for her burial.

But as I was holding the money... I asked myself, why didn't I receive this much while my wife was still alive. It could have sustained her, as the money I received would be good for many dialysis sessions. But now that she's gone, what good would this money do? Except for burial.

How I wish people would show generosity when the person who needs it is still alive...

She still could've been with us now...

My post got disapproved

How cunning! Social spark let my post stayed for a week... only to be told that it was disapproved. The reason? There is no interim post, 7 days after my submitted post. And all the while their link is up there running and getting traffic thru my post.

These affiliate blogging is really giving me a hard time, and I have yet to get anything from. It's either my blogs get disapproved for reasons that I can't understand ("we can't approve your blog cause it's set to private" wtf! my blogs aren't set to private!), or my blogs get approved... and yet, there are no opportunities!

Now, here I got an opportunity and then I'm dealt with technicalities! I got to get the deal with these affiliate blogging. Either that or I totally abandon them.

I've been giving them my infos (emails, etc.), and giving them lead links. And so far, I have yet to get a penny from them.

I am not deleting the post... I'm letting it stay to remind me of how cunning these affiliate blogging links are.

And yes, I do get lots of spam emails, thank you.