Monday, February 23, 2009

How long will I be allowed to do this?

I know... you're tired of this...

But guess what?... So am I!

Just when I think that I'm fine and I am doing well, I have to psyche myself up and trek that melancholic road that seems to be longer than the Beatles' long and winding road.

Please... just this once... allow me to talk shit (you can walk away now if you want to)

I hate the fact that when I am anxious and depressed, I have no one I can talk to.

That being the case, I just have to suppress it.

I know it's not healthy, but what can I do?

I am fine.

I've been telling myself that, and I will take care of my life and take care of the kids.

I'm the only one they have now

and I hate that!

People say I'm strong... yeah right, some strongman I am... who always sulk in the corner and drowns himself in self-pity at the slightest hint of rejection, failure and frustration

I can't deliver

I am making a fool of myself

damn it! I'm not making sense again!

4 comments:

tashabud said...

Hey Roy,
You can always write more of that post where you are having conversations with all of your blogs. I enjoyed reading your humour there. On a more serious note, you do need to get out and socialize with real people. It's not healthy to bottle everything in.

Take care and have a great day.

Tasha

Roy said...

Hi Tasha!

thanks

yeah, I know, I need to talk to real people...

I'm beginning to answer myself already ;)

Jena Isle said...

Roy Kabalen,

Ot nanu ita? We are indomitable remember? This often happens to people, it's a natural part of our psyche. Nothing to worry about... take a few hours off, or one day off, or several days off...but don't forget to count your blessings - your children - are the best blessings you have, and you'll know how lucky you are.

Say Hi to Angel for me and of course your two young men.

God bless and cheers.

Roy said...

Hi Jena!

Thanks!

I'll send your regards to them...