Real life

There's less than three minutes left in the game, we are down by two points. Only one three-point bomber will win us the game. I know I can do it, I'm up to the challenge! I can take the pressure!

If only I could have the ball. One shot is all I need.

The clock is ticking! The game is winding down! One shot! I got to take it!

If only I could have the chance! Ten seconds left!

Still no shot!

Five... four... three... two... one!

It's all over!

We lose by a shot.

I saw it all.

From start to finish... from the bench.

Maybe, I watched too much of Mighty Ducks, Karate Kid, Race the sun, and other underdog movies, wherein the most underrated, the most unlikely person - the underdog, suddenly rises to the occasion, perform a huge, almost impossible task, and come-out as a hero.

How many times have I dreamed of that? To be the main man! The real deal!

Then suddenly, it snaps!

I'm back to reality!

The bitter reality! Where I am a nobody!

Well, I'm not really a loser. But honestly, I don't really feel anything near to that of a winner. I had my moments of glory, sure I do. But they are too insignificant! Nobody, even I, don't remember them.

I have experienced defeats. Lots of times! I mean most of the times. Falls, frustrations, rejections, humiliations, name it! I think I am the exact personification of the word loser.

Come to think of it, loser is not the word, FAILURE is the more appropriate term.

I failed those who believe in me. I even failed myself!

That's why I often retreat in my own created world. A world where I am never a failure. A world where I can do anything that I want. A world where everybody looks up to me, where people love me, where I am always a winner.

A do-it-all, Mr. Reliable, the one who always delivers, where my mere presence brings inspiration to all those around me.

A world where I am always safe and unharmed.

Please don't touch me. Don't shake me! DON'T WAKE ME UP!

I am about to be given a VICTORY RIDE!


(an old article I wrote way back in 2004... )