Monday, July 27, 2009

Friend... where are you?

Envy is one feeling I really don’t entertain, if ever I do get it. I am never sour whenever great things happen to people I know, in fact I am happy for them.

But hard as it is to accept, there is one event that caused me to be envious about my blogging buddy Jan. Yes, I envy him. Not because he writes better and engaged more readers, I can live with that. I’m happy just be riding in his winds.

I envy Jan because he found his old friend… or rather, his friend found him, which makes it even more envious.

The last time I had correspondence with my friend was in 2005 I believe, if not earlier. After that, I never heard from her again… and I swear to God I made attempts to reach her… but she never replied.

I felt abandoned.

I tried to brush off the feeling, because I know she is not that kind of a friend.

She used to be there always… and I mean always. I don’t even have to call… I don’t even have to speak… she was the only friend who knew me.

“if I can’t understand my friend’s silence, how can I understand his words?”

That line was highlighted in the book that she gave me… true enough, she knows my pains even before I tell them… I don’t even have to say a word.

I can be crazy… I can loosen up and be a kid once again… she can see through the tough, non-smiling profile that nobody would even dare to be close to, and find the ticklish spot

But that was then…

When I was at my lowest… without a job and without a hope… she can’t be reached… she can’t be found.

I can only wish that she was reading this post now… I can only wish that it could reach her… but it’s just that… a wish…

I’m sure she have heared of my wife’s demise, she knew her condition… I thought she would show up… show sympathy at least… but she didn’t.

There could be a reason…. which honestly I don’t understand until now.

Yes, it was a long time since Jan’s post about his friend and I could have forgotten about it… but I was reminded again… when Jena asked, “should friendship be for life?

Shouldn’t it be?

Don’t get me wrong, lest my friends now misinterpret me… your friendships are very much appreciated, but I’m sure you understand how it feels when you long for that special friend…

…the only friend who really knows the real me.

12 comments:

Jena Isle said...

Hello Roy,

True friendships are forged through time. This does not happen overnight or in a blink of an eye.

Our friendship with the rest of the Jedi Bloggers is something special and it is worth a gem. Won't you at least give it a chance?

Thanks for the link, by the way, friend. (winks)

Roy said...

Hi Jena,

I am very much appreciative of the friendship given by the Jedi Bloggers.

I wouldn't have reached this far in blogging if it weren't for your constant pushing.

I'm sure you understand how it feels to long for a lost friend

thanks again Jena

Anonymous said...

i just recently subscribed to Sugar-Coated...sometimes friends come back at the moment you least expect them. Tried looking for a friend in elementary(like it hasn't been over 29 yrs already since I last saw/heard of her), found her sister in the ether, but even that didn't mean a lot because the email ad given to me by the sister was wrong. It's not as if we parted bitter. It's just that people, just like things, tend to be "found" at their own time...when you least expect them. Blog on...

Lory

Everlito (ever) Villacruz said...

malawak at mahaba na ang pakikipagsapalaran ng istorya ng mga jedi...

napapalutang ang mga bagay, napapahanga ang mga tagasubaybay,
may force na pananggalang.

at yun yung pakikipagkaibigan!

Roy said...

Hi Lory

Thanks for subscribing to Sugar Coated. Maybe that's true, they don't want to be 'found' yet... maybe someday... I hope it won't be too late then...

thanks again Lory

Roy said...

magandang araw Ever!

salamat ulit sa pagdalaw sa aking 'minatamis na balatkayo'

tama ka, mabisang pananggalang ang pakikipag-kaibigan

salamat ulit

jan geronimo said...

Ang ganda ng sinabi ni Anonymous/Lori - that's true, Roy. Friends have a way of finding us again. We can wish all to our heart's content, but some friendships are like that - they have their own season or sense of time.

I feel empathy for your anxiety, Roy. Life is so short. That worries me a lot. Sana they find their way home the soonest. I'm sure they know the way back naman even in the darkest of night.

Thanks a lot. I'm flattered my post resonated with you. ",)

Mary Joycelle Saulog said...

I have my best buddy way back in college. After getting married and having families of our own, we hardly see each other but we still manage to keep in touch from time to time.

It sure feels great to have a best friend. One who knows you the most and can keep you honest as possible. Though it may not always be possible that he/she will be present at all times, but just think of the memories you have of each other and the promises that no matter what, Best Friend stays the same.

I feel how you missed your Best Friend. It's understandable. But cheer up Roy! There is a right time for everything. She's just there. And you're here. Think not of the lost time but of what could possibly happen if the right time comes. =)

Roy said...

Hi Jan!

I wouldn't have missed her kundi sa post ninyong dalawa ni Jen hehe...

of course, I miss her, but not in this kind of way that it would translate into a blog post.... but you know when you're alone... you'll be looking for someone

Roy said...

Hi MJ!

Thank you very much for those inspiring words... yes, just like what Lory said... in due time...

Thanks again!

Petit said...

Ahehe, kuya Roy. Nakakalungkot naman ito. Lahat naman ay may dahilan. Sana'y maipahiwatig na nya sa iyo ang totoong kwento kung bakit nagkaganyan. Di ba kaya madali lang pong maiparating ang katanungan para naman manahimik na iyang paulit-ulit na palaisipan? Common friends lang po, baka may chain reaction at makarating sa iyo ang kasagutan.
Sana naway maging masaya ka ulit. Ang iyong tono ay nagpapahiwatig ng iyong pananabik.

Magandang araw po.

Luke said...

Sad naman yan, Roy. But things might still turn out right.