I am not a lazy duck. And I am not being defensive.
It's not like blogging for a living was my choice... well, it is now.
If only we were not living in a discriminating society who disposes you as a useless piece of shit after excreting all your juices during the prime of your life.
It's not like I didn't make any attempts... I have so many times humbled myself. NO! Make that "humiliated myself" - with total disregard of my self worth, just to be able to be on somebody's pay list.
I also sought to be an architect of opportunity by attempting to create my own empire... only to be met by creatures like the fox and the cat who lured Pinocchio into burying his golden coin in the soil with a lie that it will multiply itself - only to be found missing the next day because the sly ones already took it.
With all dignity and resources gone... where does one turn to, especially when there seems to be no more reason to continue?
Am I blaming anybody? NO! I can only blame myself. I deserve what I get and all that came to me... even as I rant against it.
Upon inventory of whatever was left to me, at the bottom of my box, after discarding all the trash and loose papers - are words. They don't mean a thing and wouldn't really amount to anything.
But if I weave them together, perhaps I could find something.
It won't happen overnight, maybe not even in my lifetime. But it's something that I want to embrace... it's something that I can identify as me.
I am one stubborn piece of an asshole. I rant, yes, but I won't be thrown off my track.
It is what I want to do.
It is what I am.