Sunday, November 2, 2008

Can't move on?

“Why can’t you move on?” I am puzzled. What does moving on means? When can one say that he can’t move on or he has already moved on? Do I strike you as someone who was not able to move on?

After being exposed on national TV because of my letters to my wife, there are not few who said that maybe it’s time for me to move on. Move on?! Again, what does moving on mean?

One fellow told me, “You’re still young, you can remarry. You need to MOVE ON. It doesn’t mean you have forgotten your wife.” There’s one interpretation of MOVING ON, getting married again. Is that really what “moving on” mean?

One comment that I received says “I don’t think this is what your wife want you to do. She wants you to MOVE ON, take care of your kids and your future. Stop this foolishness.” And I take it that the comment meant for me to stop writing my letters and ‘get a life!’ so to speak.

In my 40 years of existence in this planet, I never lived based on anybody else’s standard. And I’m not going to start now. I don’t think their definition of MOVING ON suits my own… and quite frankly “I don’t give a damn” (I always wanted to say that!)

I have a life. I am happy with my kids. Getting married again is not my priority and me going to stop writing my letters is out of the question. Who would know what my wife wants? You think you know her better than me?

Fortunately for me, there are more supporters than these naysayers. And these people, though I may not reply to them directly, has given me more strength to continue with what I’m doing. People who sees beyond skepticism and believe that there could actually be an internet in heaven.

As for those people who insist on their definition of moving on, I’ll say “thank you very much, but by your standards, then I’d rather be stagnant”


Julie said...

I can't stand unsolicited advice. You were courageous enough to share your personal letters with the world and the best someone can do is say 'Move on'? You're obviously of sound mind and are handing your own situations as you see fit. There's always going to be a part that's stagnant. There has to be. Kudos to you. (I've always wanted to say THAT!)

Roy said...

hahaha! thanks cool mom!

jena isle said...

I agree with you. You have to do what's right by you. Nobody knows you more, but you. (tama ba iyon?)

By the way, fatherblogger had informed me of a sight that accepts true stories into their contests. if you win, you'll get $ 1,000 , Ain't that amazing? Your story is a great one to send there.

Good luck to you and happy blogging.

Roy said...

Hi Jena!

Thanks for the info!

which site would that be?

hmmm... i'm thinking, which story would i send?

Holly Jahangiri said...

I don't think I've ever suggested you ought to "move on," have I? I hope not! I do believe that your wife would want you to be happy - to do whatever that means for you. And to take good care of your children; I'm sure she rests easier, knowing what a fine dad you are. I don't know what "move on" is supposed to mean, either. I've never lost a child, but I hear people say "move on" to those who have - and I can only think "how STUPID are you to think that's even possible?" At the same time, you can and do have a life to be lived to the fullest. And it's not disrespect or disloyalty to your wife to do that.

Roy said...

oh, read below the comments on my status where you found this link. you'll understand why I had to dig this up from the archive