Another failed interview... another self-analysis. In less than a week I will be 40... not the best age to apply for a job, unless I get myself qualified for executive positions. Which of course, I am not. Where would I be going now? What are my options?
They say when you're down, there's no way to go but up. That's what I thought too. But when you thought that you are at your lowest, you will begin to feel that you are sinking... deeper... lower than low... and lower still. Until you will come to realize that down and low are such infinite words. What you thought was the worst, is the actually just the tip of the iceberg.
This isn't my first failure. Nope, I've had one-too-many of them failures and loses, that I sometimes believe that I was born to fail. What others thought was a great achiever is actually a failure. Yes, some people do believe that I'm a great person, that I can accomplish so much. That I'll be successful someday, if I'm not yet successful now. I inspire them, they say. I am such a strong person.
Those were actually the opposite of the truth. A facade that I somehow manage to project... yet can't carry on. What they thought was a winner is actually a born loser! In every sense of the word! I am the personification of the word failure! Just look at me! Four decades of non-achievement and without a legacy to leave to my children.
I was told once by somebody that... "People say, every business you put up was a failure." Those words were not even half-lies. They were absolute truth. Whoever said that might have seen me trying to make something... and every time, I failed.
I am not special... I have no inspiring or success stories to share. Maybe the best that I can do is that to show you what you should not be for you to become successful.
May 3, 2008