The start of 2009 brought a lot of promise for me. I was winning blog contests left and right, that I began to believe that this is my year. Not only did I get my own domain, I was also able to get my own web hosting... indeed, everything was doing good.
But, like a balloon that failed to fly during the hot air balloon festival, my luck went flat. Along with it came the waning of the fervor that used to be... light on the candle flickered... wanting to fade... wanting to escape, in a seemingly ordinary night.
Questions follow, as expected... why? Why hand me a pole that would reach only halfway through the climb? Am I expected to fall along the way?
I thought I was good... I can hide all those anxieties like they were holes in my socks that nobody knows. Eventually, I got tired of doing the thing I love the most... got fed up, I guess. But is that really possible?
Unfortunately, quitting is not an option. Just like a pendulum that never ceases to swing, life has to go on. Despite of all the obstacles that stand before... actually, because of all those obstacles that stand before.
It's like holding a 6 in your hand... would the third card be a 3 or a 4? I don't really need to guess, as what my (un)luck have brought me before, it would be a 4. And it's not because I expected it, it's not because I wanted it... it's because I am the one who is playing.
It's just me... it's just how I am...
it's my way of life